Dear brothers and sisters:
I’ve been thinking about my dad, as Fathers’ Day approaches, and the feelings are mixed. There are some things about my father that frustrate me.
There is also a lot of good, and the good drastically outweighs the bad. My dad was a do-it-yourself guy, and showed me that you can learn to do anything you want to. My kids call this a growth mind set, and he instilled that in me. He showed me how to finish a bedroom in the basement, from framing to drywall and paint. He showed me how to form, pour, and finish our concrete basketball court. He worked with wood, and gave me most of my woodshop where I find so much satisfaction in creating and building, using my hands to make nice things. He always told me I was smart, that he was proud of me, but he also had high expectations, and gently let me know that I had the ability to do better when I didn’t give it my all. He worked hard, and taught me to do the same. My dad always honored his priesthood. My first lessons from the scriptures were from family study, as I remember his insights that he shared. His father’s blessings gave me strength and confidence at times when I most needed it. My dad always showed love for his wife, and for us as children. He talked of things about his father that he didn’t want to emulate, such as a temper or an in ability to talk openly with his children and express his emotions, and my dad was determined not to make those mistakes with his kids. To his credit, he was very open with us, and told us every day that he loved us. I respect, and am grateful for this.
At times, differences have caused friction and pain between us. I have learned from his mistakes, and resolved to do differently, just as he learned from the mistakes of his father. I find myself, at times, doing some of the same things my Dad does that bug me, and that gives me resolve not to do those things, and to do better, myself. I suppose I should be just as grateful for the bad examples, relatively few though they are, as I am for the good. All of this defines how I have tried to father my children. It’s funny, and a bit uncomfortable at times, as my kids remember and reminisce about my parenting fails. There are plenty, and I’m inclined to be patient and forgiving with my father because of them. None of us are perfect parents, but we try, and we seek to be our best selves, and we love our kids. I hope that my kids will learn from my example, and have the discernment to recognize when my example is maybe not as good as it should be, and then take that lesson and do better. I can ask no more of them than to learn from me and do better for themselves. Really, there is only one example that all of us can look to for perfection: 3 NE 27:21 “Verily, verily, I say unto you, this is my gospel; and ye know the things that ye must do in my church; for the works which ye have seen me do that shall ye also do; for that which ye have seen me do even that shall ye do;” and verse 27: “Therefore, what manner of men ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am.”
I am grateful for my father, for the lessons I’ve learned from him, and for the love he has shown me through the years. And I am grateful for my Father in Heaven, and his son Jesus Christ, and the perfect example he has given us, of loving kindness, steadfastness, and goodness. That I can be more like him each day, and be the best example I can to my children, is my prayer today, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Riverdale 7th Ward 